Thursday, September 17, 2015

For the Days When You've Believed a Lie.....About Yourself


There are days in life when suddenly a door explodes open in your mind and you suddenly know something about yourself that's always been there but you never really knew before.
There are days that mark a point in life that you can measure everything else from, because some new truth has so gripped your soul that everything must be different from that point on.
And there are times when your heart hurts and you feel empty because of all the tears you've shed for realization of truths that somehow you've missed your entire existence.

That's been my life lately.
None of this is because I'm an amazingly spiritual person with keen soul insight, in fact, the opposite is true.
My recent revelations have come about because the Holy Spirit has slowly been whispering truth into my soul's ears, and I've finally awakened enough to hear the words....you are believing lies.

How exactly does one start to believe a lie?
It's not always easy to pinpoint the moment when a lie gets accepted as truth in one's mind, but it happens, more often than I ever realized.
Lies about God......myself......guilt......faith.....acceptance.....hope.....

I use my time to answer waiting emails, and a voice hisses that I should be cleaning up the kitchen.
I start washing the dirty lunch dishes, and a whisper reminds me of all those waiting emails.
I eat an apple before supper, and the accusations ring through my mind about how I should have had more self-control.
I eat an extra piece of dessert at a friend's house, and the mocking voice haunts me with the thought that I'm not taking care of the temple God has given me.
I hate my to-do list, because whatever I do, it will be wrong.
I despise eating, because no matter what I choose, certainly I could have made a better choice.
If I spend time playing with my girls, I feel guilty for skipping the necessary housework.
As I grab the broom and start sweeping the house, I feel the burden on my shoulders reminding me I'm not outside with my girls.
I go through a tiring time, and I get discouraged.

The first attacks are those barbed hooks of doubt, embedding themselves into my soul.
As I try to pull them out, part of me is left torn and bleeding.
I search the Scripture for truth, but verse after verse is twisted into an ugly weapon to be used against me.
I've swallowed the hook of a lie, and I'm caught.

How many of those lures have I gulped down over the years?
Enough to cause a lot of internal damage.
I feel weak, hollow, guilty.

This is not how God intended me to live.
The Father of Lies desires for me to live this way.
He does his best to deceive me into believing that this is just how I am.
These are just besetting sins.
I'm stuck this way.
It is a lie.

There is victory in Christ.
There is healing for my soul.
I can live in the spirit and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
He can gently pull out those snares and make me whole again.
I don't have to live in fear or doubt or worry or shame.

So I hunt for those hidden lies, the ones I know are buried down so deeply that they are easy to miss.
Once I find them, I ask God for the truth I need to know to remove them.
I search my life for the untruths I've allowed to flood my mind about this particular snare, and then I memorize God's true words about this area of my life.
I grab onto these Words as the lifeline they are.
And then I let my Saviour pull me to safety.
I am His, and He is mine.
On this, I can safely stand,
resting in His holy, loving hand.

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