Friday, August 28, 2015

For the Days When You Just Want Some Me-Time..... {and the last winner!}

It's time for mama's daily run.
Though I run, I'm not a runner.
Some laps around the house, some exercises to try to whittle away this "mama-middle", and a few stretches are my entire stay-healthy regimen.
It's also a bit of quiet for mama, some time to empty my head of the noise and chaos and demands being a homeschooling mama of four brings.
I crave this tiny bit of calm in an otherwise hectic schedule.
Just me, my very unconventional running shoes, the slap of soles hitting concrete, and the rise and fall of my breathing.
I try to slip out of the house unnoticed.
Today I've got less time than usual, and the kiddos have been exceptionally wearing.
I'm ready for some peace, quiet, and sweat.
That's when I hear the patter of little feet and a tiny voice say, "Mama, I got my wunning shoes!"

Lili's first request for her birthday was that we pull down the hand-me-down bags from their hideaway and get her some "new" shoes.
She's a clothes horse, that one.
When she spotted the pink shoes that looked just like mama's she couldn't have been happier.
The rubber bottoms pulled away from their strappy tops the first ten minutes she had them on, but that was soon remedied by daddy walking them down to the cobbler on the corner when he went to buy bananas for lunch.
A heavy-duty needle, an awl, and some waxed thread made them as good as new.

After waiting a whole day to get her precious shoes back, she'd been waiting for her chance.
Time to go running with mama.

I should have been happy she wanted to join me.
A running buddy....those are great motivation, right?!?
But I wasn't.
I wanted just a few minutes of alone time.
It wasn't much compared to all the hours I spend with my children.
Why couldn't she just let me go solo today?

I opened my mouth to order her back into the house.....but I caught myself.
I swallowed the frustration I was feeling.
Maybe I could dissuade her.
I'd state THE RULES:
"I'm not holding your hand, and I'm not carrying you."
A quick reply, "I know, mama. I'm a big girl now. I got wunning shoes!"

Off we set, her blond head bopping along in front of me.
She didn't giggle or whine.
She was for serious today.
She wanted to be just like her mama.
Good thing she couldn't know her mother's thoughts.

As my blood began to warm with the exercise, so did my cold heart ~
this was the baby I'd prayed for for years.
As my heart rate rose, so did the reminders of her broken heart ~
this was my child I thought might not survive.
As we circled the compound, I recalled the fears I'd felt ~
this was the child that didn't walk until a day before she turned 19 months.

We rounded the corner, breath coming fast, mind slowing to freeze-frames....
Lili's bright waves of hair bouncing in the sunlight...
purple house dress with ties undone streaming behind her...
brown eyes twinkling with love for an undeserving mama...
and pink wunning shoes...
doing more good for this mama-heart than 20 minutes alone could have ever done.

*Aleassa, you won the giveaway from Sunday! I'll send you a message soon!


  1. Patty, this is so adorable. Her wittle wunning shoes like her mama. I was so blessed by this.
    Felicia Bernal

  2. Thanks for the encouragement to enjoy the little distracting things:)

  3. I have never commented, but I have been reading your blog for a while now. Someone posted a post a few years ago on FB and I have been reading ever since. I wanted to share with you that every time you write I feel like you are writing just for my heart. You capture my exact thoughts when it comes to motherhood. God is truly using you in my life and I wanted to say thank you and keep being real, because it serves me more then you know. ( A mama of 3 littles from TX)

  4. What a sweet post! I have a Lily, too. :) And yay, I'm excited to have won!