Noble mighty woman of God.....that's what my parents named me.
I think they had some awfully high ideals of what they wanted for my life.
From infancy I was fed on the best, the greatest mind food.
The story books read to me and then offered to me as I grew were those that spoke of nobility, honor, courage, faithfulness, beauty, joy, love, and godliness.
They were never shoved in my face or crammed down my throat.
They were offered with a smile, a knowing look, a glimmer in the eye that made me want to know what secret was being harbored in those rough pages.
Not only did my parents fill my mind with principles and convictions of the highest sort, they surrounded me with others who modeled a life of virtue.
No, none of them were perfect people, but they were growing people.
I knew when I grew that I too wanted to live a life like those I'd imagined.
And then.......I grew up.
God began asking me to do hard things.
As I obeyed Him, He strengthened me to the task.
It was a scary place to be, but it was exciting.
I felt many days like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, being asked to jump.
In time I learned to take that leap, and it was nerve-wracking, overwhelming, thrilling.
I was being asked to follow after good things, better things, the best things.
But then I started to notice that not everybody was hiking the same trails I was.
It started to get quieter, lonelier.
The excitement began to fade, and with it, my enthusiasm to follow the path the Lord had called me to climb.
As I searched the mountains around me, I began to wonder when someone else would come along the steep path I'd been walking.
As long as other people were called to face the same difficulties as me then it would be all right.
But the hills were quiet.
I knew this was the road I was called to trod, so I began climbing again, but now I was tired.
I was weary from the never-ending ascent.
God beckoned me upward with more truths, more ideals, more of what He wanted for me.
I was headed straight for the glory of the clouds, but oh, how worn I was.
I needed a break, a chance to plateau a bit.
I didn't want to quit, but a respite from all this would be really nice.
There was no flat place here, though.
In the words of Amy Carmichael, recorded by Isobel Kuhn, it was Climb or Die!
To every man there openethA way, a ways, and a way.And the high soul climbs the high way,And the low soul gropes the low.And in between on the misty flatsThe rest drift to and fro.But to every man there openethA high way and a low ---And every man decideth the way his soul shall go.
~ John Okenham
These are the wild, windy places my mind has been traveling for months now.
The pull between the ideals God has called me to and my desire for a break have almost torn me apart these last few months.
We all get a choice to either follow the trail up the mountain God has for us, or to stay where the path is easy.
Up the mountain is abundant life, joy, blessings, beauty, and closeness to God that is unimaginable.
I pray for the courage and strength to never stop climbing!