Friday, April 25, 2014

For the Days When You Need a Resurrection Miracle

Resurrection Sunday has come and gone, but I still feel like the walking dead.
My mind has been stuck in the depths, in the darkness that worry can bring.
The grave clothes masquerade as busyness, wrapping tighter around me as I shuffle from thing to thing, fears binding them tighter and tighter.

My walk with Christ suffers.
My marriage suffers.
My children suffer, including the one I'm worrying most about.
My relationships with others suffer.
I suffer....
but I suffer in silence,
like a dead corpse that cares not one way or the other.

The truth of it is that I need a miracle.
I need a resurrection.....
a resurrection of the mind, not the body.
Yes, I may have been born unto God, but practically?
I'm the walking dead,
all life sucked right out of me.

Like some spiritual horror story, I wander through the days with no hope, no faith, no truth.
A spiritual zombie.
Everyone around me is affected by the stench of a rotting shell......
life draining away as I drag through the days,
dragging others down with me.
I've been attacked....
by lies.
And as I let them settle in my heart and mind, they drain the spiritual life out of me.

They didn't look harmful, but how rapidly those untrue thoughts have latched on, trying to suck out every last drop of truth I know.
And as the truth fades, I'm swallowed down into graveyard darkness.

But the truth, the truth doesn't die when I stop believing.
It lives still, and it keeps steadily shining, whether I'm seeing it or not.
Its beam is steady, unbroken.
And just like the sunshine can bring life into the cold, lifeless heart of a tree,
the light of truth can bring life into the cold, lifeless heart of me.

Christ's light demands me wake:
To get up and walk out of the tomb that holds no power over me,
To step wisely, using up every moment of life He's blessed me with doing His will.
And His will is always, always to be filled up with Him, His spirit LIVING in me,
Feeding on His words of life,
Thanking always for all things,
Stooping down in love and serving those around me.

With dim eyes revived, I can see life everywhere I look.

For all of you dear people who've prayed for Lili and our family....
Your prayers and words of encouragement mean so much.
We got a phone call on Tuesday from the only doctor in Ghana who can do the test Lili needs.
John and Lili are headed to Accra today (Friday) so they can get the test done first thing Saturday morning. The doctor will also examine Lili and decide if she will need heart surgery or not.
Please pray for their safety in traveling, wisdom for the doctor, calmness for Lili as she must be completely still for the test, and wisdom concerning any decisions that must be made.
Thank you.


  1. Praying for Lili and for you. This is a beautiful post.

  2. We love you and are praying for you! Praying for God's peace and wisdom as only He can give. He is the Great Physician, as well as Our Father...I can only promise you that He loves that little one more than you do, though I know you may find that impossible. God is working in your life and hers for all of your best, no matter what it may seem like at the time. I have been where you are, Patty, I have walked where you walk, though not quite to this extent, so I understand the fear, the doubt...the want for peace and understanding, and I know God is faithful through it all. God bless you and your open, honest mother's heart! I am praying earnestly for it all and anxiously await the word on how it all goes! *hugs*

  3. Oh the heart of a Mother is broken for her child. Please know we will be praying for you to see the goodness of the Lord in your valley. Just reading Psalm 104 thru 106 this morning and remembering His goodness and what He has done and is doing.....praying for you and your family for healing grace and mercy

  4. Praying for you in Romania, as a mother of 5 and one who had a heart problem I know your fear, and your heart in this valley. May the Lord bless you with a comfort and peace that only he can give and may He heal your little girl as only he can heal

  5. Praying for your sweet Lili and you. I felt this same drain and deadness as well on the field. I am praying for an awakening for your spirit and new life in your heart and mind from your Heavenly Father who loves and cares for you so!

  6. Praying for you, dear friend, and for your little girl.

  7. Love you so much and praying all will be well soon!

  8. Praying for Lili and for you. I've had very sick children with long waiting periods on two occasions, (including a "heart baby") and I have to say the "not knowing" was always the worst of me. Looking back, though, the lessons I learned in the valley are absolutely priceless. I know it hurts; I hurt for you in memory. But I also rejoice, knowing the green pastures on the other side are sweeter than any you've ever tasted, and the still waters for your soul and cool and deep.

  9. Oh dear, we will pray for you. I had no idea what you were going through!

  10. We've been praying daily for Lili. Praying for you too during this time.

  11. I am praying for Lili and John as they travel and for your heart. The fear of the unknown, the fear of what maybe, the fear of being unable to do anything. When we find ourselves swallowed up with these fears we have no where to turn but to our Lord. OUR Lord who knows the future, who knows what is best, who feels our pain, our Father who will hold us, strengthen us, comfort us. I am praying for His peace to swallow you up, to fill you. Rest in His loving arms, hold tight. I am praying for you dear friend, hugs. Love you all, Sue.

  12. Oh, how He loves you! After I went through a valley where it seemed God had not answered my prayers, I felt that perhaps I was being chastened. And it went on...and on....

    I wanted to repent but I had no power to. I was SO LOW. I saw no way of changing into someone pleasing to God so this fearful agony would end!

    And finally I realized, I am under no condemnation. I am God's beloved child, in whom (BECAUSE OF JESUS CHRIST) He is well pleased. There is therefore now no condemnation to me as I look to Jesus, even after stumbling; Jesus is my righteousness. When I yell at my kids, Jesus already paid for it. When I fail my husband, Jesus paid for it. When my mind is tempted and strays, Jesus paid for it. He came to give us life abundant even though he knew what we are. As I began to look to Jesus and accept His love for me and stop focusing on my failures and reasons to be condemned, He began to release my shackles of fear and futility.

    May He reveal a his love to you in such a real way as He did to me.

    He gave His life,
    how much more will he give (Romans 8:32);
    oh how he loves you;
    oh how he loves me;
    oh, how He loves you and me!