Wednesday, September 25, 2013

For the Days You Don't Think You'll Survive


There are moments, hours, days, weeks when you feel like you might be ground to bits...
When everything comes together to smash and squeeze the life out of you....
When the pressure is so great, you know you will never survive.....
And yet, somehow, you do.


The very thing you thought would destroy you suddenly becomes life-giving.
The moment when you know you can't take it any more....you do.
In the height of the pain, you overcome.
In the depths of weariness, you push on.
At what seems like the end, you begin again.


And so our family steps onto the path of growing....
together....
again.


And as I think of this new life I've been entrusted with, I am afraid.
I know the million-and-one mistakes I've already made...
the outbursts of anger....
the tongue used to speak words of destruction...
the choices made of pure selfishness....
the hours lost to my own pursuits instead of those of others...
the days spent in apathy...
the months spent in self-pity...
the time lost.
And the knowledge of myself.....it scares me.
It threatens to crush me.


But then I'm reminded....
that new life only comes through pain...
only through practice do we improve....
and through labor comes reward.


So even though my laboring to bring forth a child is done,
the laboring to become who God wants me to be is just beginning.
And as the moment, or hour, or day, or week threatens to consume me...
I'm reminded that His mercies are new every morning.
And when I'm unfaithful?
He is not.


Great is His faithfulness!


7 comments:

  1. Absolutely precious and so true. I'm so glad for your new little one. I love the pictures of your girls, too. God bless you and all the family!

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  2. I'm so glad with God's help you made it!! Congratulations on this little new life that God has entrusted to you. He knows you can do it!! May God continue to bless you and your family as you all "grow" together. We love you and pray for you daily...

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  4. Love you sweet friend. You are amazing.

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  5. You are so good at putting your thoughts into words! God bless your family as you have been entrusted with this new life! You are blessed!

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  6. She's beautiful, Patty! I know exactly what you mean and how you feel! You will be in my prayers! Love you, sis! :)

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  7. I'm so glad you and Baby are doing well. Adorable pictures. I feel that way so many times too, knowing I have failed my children so often, yet knowing that God never fails. It keeps us on our knees, doesn't it?

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