It's raining outside and all is quiet.
The kiddos are in bed, sleeping in the coolness that comes with slow, night-long rains.
My hubby sits beside me reading a book.
I stare at a screen and wonder.
I think about life and what it is I actually do.
Yes, I'm a missionary.
But what do I do on a daily basis that really makes a difference?
Today I helped my kiddos get ready for the day;
I changed dirty baby bedding, because I didn't get a clean diaper on littlest fast enough;
I dealt with a sisterly show of exuberance that ended in a split lip and blood everywhere;
I calmed my hubby down after he came home to find his files trashed all over the floor by the little one while mommy was cleaning up the blood;
I schooled my girls even though we are all quite ready for a bit of a break;
I washed six loads of laundry as we actually had both water and electricity today;
I put up and took down all laundry as a storm came in an hour after it all got hung;
I cooked food;
The girls helped me make a treat for Daddy;
We worked on an Easter craft together;
I cleaned up the never-ending mess in the kitchen;
I scrubbed down the stove and the walls behind it and the floor under it as something wasn't smelling very pleasant.
In other words......I lived.
But did I?
Written out like that, it doesn't seem like much.
It certainly doesn't seem like enough to warrant the title of "missionary work".
Anybody could do what I'm doing, right?!?
I'm not famous.
I haven't written any books.
I don't have thousands of people who "follow" me.
I don't have a house full of orphans.
I don't take care of AIDS patients.
Nobody really knows my name.
I don't think I wear the title Radical like so many are talking about nowadays.
But is any of that the goal?
Is it my goal?
The longer I think about it, the more I'm reminded of what my desire must be....
1 Corinthians 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.
Was I faithful?
Was I faithful to be a missionary at home first?
Was I faithful to love my children?
Was I faithful to speak truth to my family?
Was I faithful to the duties that have been entrusted to me?
Was I faithful to my husband in loving and serving him?
Was I faithful to serve my loved ones with a happy heart?
Was I faithful to give my all and rest in His goodness and grace to work through my failures?
Written out like this?
Maybe it does sound like missionary work.
And maybe I am the only one who can do what I'm doing....
because I'm the one who's been called to this work.
And it doesn't matter if I'm famous.....if I'm faithful.
And I don't have to write a book....to be found faithful.
And I don't need thousands of people to "follow" me.....just those I'm supposed to lead.
And I don't have to take care of a house full of orphans....just those I've been entrusted with.
And I don't have to take care of AIDS patients.....just the dear ones God places in my path.
And no one needs to know my name.....if I'm just a faithful steward.
And maybe that's what being radical is all about......being found faithful to do all that is asked of me.
So I guess I've answered my own question with a question....
It is not, "Did I make a difference?".....
but,"Have I been faithful?"
And only God can help me answer that.