Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Loads

They say the load is too heavy.
I, for one, agree.
The days are hot,
and the nights are hotter.

Daytime bring sunlight and lots of it,
but the night?
Darkness, sweltering heat, whining mosquitoes, ragged sleep, crying babes.

Some days, the load is more than I can bear.
And nights?
All of them are more than I think I can handle.

My thoughts run amok, snatches of dreams, sentences tumbling round and round in my head.
And when the sun comes up, all I want to do is sleep.
I don't want to slog through another day.
I'm in a rut, and I don't care.
I want to care, but I can't seem to muster up the energy to do so.

The house needs cleaning,
and the kiddos need teaching,
and the baby needs changing,
and the husband needs loving,
and the blog needs writing {even if just for my own sanity!},
and there are church members who need teaching and praying for,
and there are emails that need answering,
and the load needs shedding.

The doors are left open all day trying to get some light in the house,
and now it's full of mosquitoes drinking my blood and leaving behind their poisons,
and baby breaks her arm,
and I wake up with a stiff neck...three days in a row,
and now the neck problem is gone, but it's managed to turn into a stomach issue,
and the load needs shedding.

That is what it is called, you know...
Load shedding.
When the electricity company cannot provide enough electricity for everybody, they shed a bit of the load by turning off the lights.

But how do I shed the load they are loading on me?
Can I shed like a dog, leaving bits of my frustration here and there?
Or maybe like a snake, just wiggling right out of that which is pinching me and squeezing too tight?
Maybe I should just turn it all off,  like the utility company,
tell everybody to fend for themselves while I just try to take care of myself.

Oh, but then I remember what we've been studying this month as a family.
Love.
Not a very lovely month for love....
but maybe this is the month I need it most.
Love bears all things.
One of its many attributes, but the one I need most right now.
It is a roof, built sturdy and strong.
Not only does it cover over the faults of those loved,
but it also bears the load.
This love roof does not collapse under the weight of troubles and problems,
it simply does its job.

And I realize that it's not about me shedding this load,
or even bearing this load.
There is a roof right over me, a banner, and it is LOVE.
And He can bear this load for me.
And that is enough.

6 comments:

  1. This post hit home. Thanks for the encouragement!

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  2. I just love the way you say the exact same thing I am thinking but I can not put it into words! Great post!

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  3. Steph in Puerto RicoFebruary 20, 2013 at 4:15 PM

    Thanks for the reminder ... He's with us through it ALL.

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  4. Needed that today, sis! :) Thank you! Love and miss you guys so much! Hugs and kisses to all!

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  5. This really touched me!! Actually since i first came across your blog, your whole blog has touched me! i sat reading the one about the muslim man being converted, i was crying and wiping tears from my eyes, i had to share it with my husband and my friends!!
    Thats what its ALL about!!
    I want you to know that You and your family are in my prayers!

    Luv and prayers,
    shannon from florida

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